I had a bad day on Monday
If you want to give it a label
Call it a panic attack
Do you know the feeling?
Everything caves inside yourself
The weight becomes unbearable
You’re not yourself
You can’t speak or think
Like you normally do
You seek a place of refuge
Behind the wheel of a car
Crouched in the shower
You let the tears flood
You’re reaching for air
That’s just out of grasp
Raw eyes, red face, swollen, sweaty
Your switch flipped
I need coffee
I need ocean
I need him
I numbly wander through the hours
To find myself
Caffeinated
On the concrete steps of the foreshore
I struggle with the temptation
Of confining in him
He’s just a distraction
From fighting the fight myself
I feel the pain
And let it be there
This is just another phase
To becoming a better me
I will embrace the runaway
Reflect on it
Because I know now
Alone
Doesn’t mean lonely
