dear kaylee,
twelve months ago
you were cycling the south island of new zealand
wondering why the hell you decided
to attempt a task so physically challenging
every single day
you were in tears
after internally screaming to yourself
“I can’t do this!” over and over again
though
isn’t it interesting?
how you vividly remember
the emotional pain over the physical?
for the past few months
you’ve been checking in with your emotions
and releasing them
into your writing
you keep telling yourself
that you’ll go that step further
prioritize time to sit down, undisturbed
to really focus on the pain and why it’s there
last night you had no choice
but to face the sudden rush of intense emotion
after a physically stressful and moody afternoon
it was indeed inevitable
instead of facing your overdriven mind
you distracted yourself with unrelated tasks
disappointed with yourself
you lay eyes to the ceiling
feeling more disconnected than ever
this morning
you woke slowly and wandered to the ocean
to allow your emotions to fill you up
and breathe through your body
the sun was masked behind thick cloud
gifting you with plenty of time
to not worry about its intensity
with the salt air filling your lungs
you reminded yourself
that your goals won’t be achieved overnight
to enjoy the journey
you must be gentle
and focus on being patient
all my love,
kaylee
kaylee maclean 