lake

commuter’s headlights sparkle
as they pass the overgrown strip
the leaves sound like rain
as they rustle against one another

they come and go
take a photo
fake a smile
appreciation on the back burner

before they leave
they hand me their judgements
on silver platters
through their blank stares

what does it matter
my lonely thrives here
as the sun melts the warmth
by the lake

casual

congratulations
you’re a match
number twelve
you know he will be

although
I couldn’t decide
what was worse

weeks ago
being invisible 
my words unheard

or tonight
him being confidently abrupt

my thoughts discarded

I drove away
three beers in my blood
smiling ear to ear
yet shedding a sadness filled tear

him

it was evident that day
the fire in your eyes
as I walked up the stairs
with my mask securely fastened

I had to keep reminding myself
it was only the second time
but I wanted to say so much
let my thoughts spill out my mouth

I didn’t want to scare you
with my emotions and my secrets
make you think
I had any sort of expectations

but honestly
I only held back
because in fact
I was scared

of your
rejection
judgement
never being enough

I don’t know what I’d rather
face the firing line
or tend to your fire
and risk the burn

lonely

once upon a time
there was a boy
who understood my words
more than I ever did

when he burned my pages
by saying
his love was no more
I’ll admit it was hard to let go

today
I discovered
my loneliness
will always be familiar

because
after all
it’s the title of my book
I’m the author

my book is unbalanced
hard cover
dark colours
heavy to hold

when my book is open
to another reader
I very rarely
just sum up my words

instead
I easily recite
every single word for them
from front to back

I do this
with the hope of feeling
any sort of emotion
even heartbreak will do

a rare special edition
doesn’t mean
I’m not a worthwhile read
please just trust me